Old relationships die, people move away, the house i live in, the people i relate to, the things i m doing for work, all the causes and beliefs i held so dearly for so long--everything goes.
It is horribly scary, I've got to admit.
It is horribly scary especially when i m clinging to that old life, holding on the way a starving street urchin would refuse to give up a crust of moldy bread.
It's no use to me any more. It doesn't work. It doesn't fit. I can't wear those old clothes I wore in my old life.
They don't work.
I can't get into them.
The fact is there's no one to please now. Nobody i have to lie to, pretend to, protect or take care of.
It is my own survival my own life i have to care for now.
Nothing can mean more to me than living.
Nothing can mean more to me than my own life my own truth.
Because i have to be real now.
No more escape. NO more hiding. NO more dulling my pain.
My hope is in being honest and truthful and letting the world know that my life is just as important to me as protecting everybody from it.
4 σχόλια:
my life..likewise,too. especially when some people wake up, i feel like going into deep sleep, an even deeper sea of forgetfulness, for i don't want to see or hear or feel, anything, anymore.
i believe that if there will be a new drug in the future, it should eradicate, even momentarily, all previous memory. a drug of total oblivion.
blank.
especially that ominous sense of "I" or "My" or
"Oh My" !
oh dear
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